You wonder if they ever truly loved you. But still, the pain has become too unbearable. The lies and the cheating became too much to handle.
And to make matters worse, he was also physically abusive to me. The blows were so unexpected.
I never knew if the next argument would put me in the hospital, or maybe worse, be my last. I wanted him to stop hurting me.
I wanted him to understand that his behavior tore me apart inside.
No matter how much sweat and tears you put into it, it will never be the same again. If you had told me back then that I would have found a man who truly loved and respected me for who I was, I would have never believed you. He is the reason I believe in true love today.
I am living proof that you can experience true love if you just believe that something much better is out there for you. You may not know who they are, or when they will come, but they are waiting on you to let go so that they can come into your life. Only then do things have a chance of working themselves out.
I thought my ex would change for me.
I thought that if I tried hard enough to convince him how much he hurt me, he would have no choice but to change. But I was wrong. Sometimes our judgment is clouded. Sometimes we simply want to see the best in someone.
Instead of being just a part of your life, they have become your entire life. You have forgotten how to live for yourself. Getting over the initial discomfort of being alone is the hardest part. But once you get past that stage, life becomes a whole lot easier. When I ended my relationship with my ex, I tried everything I could to distract myself.
I figured that accepting the disappointment in him was easier to handle than being lonely. If you work through the pain, instead of trying to avoid it, you limit the chances of your feelings coming back to haunt you later on.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to release the pain. The more I tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse I felt, and I eventually stressed myself out. I stopped pretending everything was okay. It lasted a few weeks, but I felt like a new person when it was over. The tight feeling in my chest was no longer there. I started smiling again. I started noticing the sun shining and the beautiful clouds in the sky.
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I was no longer in that dark place. I felt brand new.
By resting your heart, mind and soul, you give yourself a chance to heal. This is also the best time to get to know you. For me, it was baking. Seeking help from your loved ones, a professional or even a clergy member, can help you get back on your feet.